Consent, Medication vs Libido and Bodywork

Femxle sexuality is bloody complicated. The truest sentence to ever exist. But what if it could be less so? Less stigmatised, less shameful, less hush hush, less judged? We'd really love to help push the envelope here, so we've recruited the inimitable Georgia Grace, Australian Sex Coach, We-Vibe Ambassador, writer and speaker to get us some A's to our Q's...

Can you explain consent for us in one sentence?

Consent is the ongoing and enthusiastic verbal and non-verbal agreement that is given freely and

without coercion. Just because you’ve said yes to one thing also doesn’t mean you’ve said yes to

everything. Consent is essential in all sexual experiences and creates a space for people to feel safeand empowered to pause, stop and voice desires.

How does long-term medication (like SSRI's) affect libido?

Whether these medications treat depression (SSRIs/SNRIs such as commonly prescribed Zoloft and Prozac) or anxiety (such as Xanax or Valium), these prescription medications can alter a host of biological processes like sex drive, ability to orgasm, vaginal dryness. These side-effects vary from human-to-human and can be felt more or less intensely at certain times of the day (closer or further away from the usual dosage time). Medication should always be prescribed by a trusted practitioner and, if you are struggling with any of the above, it’s important to speak with them first-and-foremost. You may also choose to book in with a sex positive practitioner!

How can you talk to a partner about introducing toys (to solo or partner time) without making them feel inadequate?

When I’m supporting couples to explore pleasure with sex toys I suggest the following approach:

Communicate: When having conversations around sex it can be awkward and clunky at first, so intend to normalise the discussion. Try something like: I’m curious about sex toys, how’d you feel about trying one together?

Reassurance: They may be hesitant if they think they’ll be replaced - if your partner has concerns, a little reassurance may go a long way. As much as you love your toy, it will not and cannot replace

them. Focus on the benefits: There are so many benefits to exploring sex toys! Figure out what the benefits might be for you and your relationship and communicate them. These may be:

• Toys can allow you to feel sensations you like or you’re curious about

• Toys are there to enhance sensation rather than replace human connection

• You’re curious and wanting to explore something new with your partner

• Reaching orgasm isn’t as linear as we’re led to believe, and toys may help you get ‘there’

• Variety during sex allows for increased access to pleasure

Boundaries: Any time you try something new you’ll need to talk about it, discuss what’s exciting and what isn’t. These boundaries may be around how, when or where the toys are used.

Show and tell: Show them how you want it to be used on you - this can be really fun and also really

hot! Aftercare: This is just as important as the pre toy discussion - what worked? What didn’t? If you were to do it again, how would you do it differently?

Remember: It’s ok if they’re not into it - you can still use it on your own!

How often do we need to be getting STI checks?

If you’re sexually active it’s recommended you get tested once every 12 months, though if you’re

having sex with multiple different people it’s recommended you get tested every 3 months.

Depending on the frequency between partners some people choose to get tested before and after having sex with someone new.

What is sexological bodywork and do we need it?

Sexological bodywork is a modality that works with both somatics - (i.e. awareness of the body), with sexology (i.e. the scientific study of human sexuality). It draws on traditional practices such as yoga, meditation and embodiment, and is also informed by neuroscience, psychology and somatic learning theory. This is a powerful modality as it works with the approach that learning about sexuality, arousal and eroticism comes through integrated experiences in the body. Using touch, sound, breath, movement and placement of awareness, as well as conversation.

There are so many benefits to attending a sexological bodywork session, some may attend for a specific concern or sexual condition like Premature Ejaculation, Erectile Dysfunction, Anorgasmia, Painful sex or Vaginismus etc (it’ll depend on the practitioner and their qualification/ specialty). Though others may attend because they’re curious, wanting to feel more pleasure or sensation, and so on.

PS: We're literally giving away a (pink, obviously) vibrator from We-Vibe over on our Instagram - enter to win here!